Auslanders: Night Flight
I was not frazzled.
I was not exhausted, nor was I full of rage from standing around in lines with irritable travelers for so many hours, or slumping over in awkwardly designed “chairs” or from paying airport prices for airport “food”. Yes, I just used air quotes on two words in the same sentence.
But I still had no rage.
Strangely enough, I felt none of the above during the journeying portion of our journey.
Of course, we did indeed stand in a long line at the Air Transat counter, but it moved much more efficiently than I could have hoped and there was enough excitement in us all at that point that waiting in a pack of sweaty unknowns for a year long diversion from our normal lives could be construed as fun rather than a tooth grinding exercise in the staggering oaffery up to which humanity is capable of rising.
Once we checked in, paid the overage for all of our extra baggage and redistributed our carry-ons, we proceeded to the flight deck. I don’t know if it’s called the flight deck, but I would imagine if we were fighter jocks, that’s exactly where we were. All we needed now was the right soundtrack and some Ray Bans.
Sitting on the formed plastic were the exact same people you see in every airport all over North America. How it is that they end up going everywhere I’m going at the exact same time I’m going there beggars my imagination, but once again, there they were: the same screaming baby, the single mom with too many kids, the soulfully facial haired college boy with a guitar slung over his back, the small cluster of fleshy post-teen girls smacking gum and planning where they will shop first, and you know the rest.
We wrestled through the crowd until we found an uninhabited corner and flopped down in a ragged pile.
Being a good mother, my wife started playing cards with the kids. They needed the distraction. Nervous about flying, nervous about leaving home for a year, nervous about being up so late into the night, nervous about being nervous, they were both spun way tighter than normal, and that’s really saying something.
Being a good father, I immediately went on the hunt for an unused AC outlet.
Pioneers thought they had it tough traveling across the Great Plains? Please. … Continue Reading







