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Auslanders: Night Flight

I was not frazzled.

Lining up to leave - July 2006

I was not exhausted, nor was I full of rage from standing around in lines with irritable travelers for so many hours, or slumping over in awkwardly designed “chairs” or from paying airport prices for airport “food”. Yes, I just used air quotes on two words in the same sentence.

But I still had no rage.

Strangely enough, I felt none of the above during the journeying portion of our journey.

Of course, we did indeed stand in a long line at the Air Transat counter, but it moved much more efficiently than I could have hoped and there was enough excitement in us all at that point that waiting in a pack of sweaty unknowns for a year long diversion from our normal lives could be construed as fun rather than a tooth grinding exercise in the staggering oaffery up to which humanity is capable of rising.

Once we checked in, paid the overage for all of our extra baggage and redistributed our carry-ons, we proceeded to the flight deck. I don’t know if it’s called the flight deck, but I would imagine if we were fighter jocks, that’s exactly where we were. All we needed now was the right soundtrack and some Ray Bans.

Sitting on the formed plastic were the exact same people you see in every airport all over North America. How it is that they end up going everywhere I’m going at the exact same time I’m going there beggars my imagination, but once again, there they were: the same screaming baby, the single mom with too many kids, the soulfully facial haired college boy with a guitar slung over his back, the small cluster of fleshy post-teen girls smacking gum and planning where they will shop first, and you know the rest.

We wrestled through the crowd until we found an uninhabited corner and flopped down in a ragged pile.

Being a good mother, my wife started playing cards with the kids. They needed the distraction. Nervous about flying, nervous about leaving home for a year, nervous about being up so late into the night, nervous about being nervous, they were both spun way tighter than normal, and that’s really saying something.

Being a good father, I immediately went on the hunt for an unused AC outlet.

Pioneers thought they had it tough traveling across the Great Plains? Please. … Continue Reading

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What is Auslanders?

What is Auslanders?

Hello.

thelabcoatguy here.

A few short years ago I had cause to move with my entire family to the country you know as Germany.

We would live there from July 2006 to June 2007.

During that time, we would be known as Auslanders, outsiders, aliens, and we would experience, for the first time, the feeling of immersing ourselves into a culture that, while it seems from the outside to be pretty similar to our own Canadian culture, is actually very different. And we would be doing all that immersing in another language that none of us could speak.

The stories that came from that year were collected in my original blog for close friends and family, and now, after a bit of seasoning, I am collecting them into a book which will be published by FauxPop Media in the next few months.

I hope that you will read these stories as I present them here at fauxpop.tv, and then I hope that you will go on to buy my book and allow me to trade that money you gave me for food, soap and Apple products.

Thank you.

thelabcoatguy out.

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  Check out our Chasing Turtles Podcast at www.turtledoc.com   Share and Enjoy:

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FauxPop FauxCast: EP19 – “SoCal Memories”

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